Saiyuki Gone Wrong… Fangirls are in charge
by Lost Cursed Angel
Summary: Just some random stuff... I suck at summaries.. Just read it. oh.. and review! IT's just random OOCness!
1. Chapter 1: And so it begins…

**Saiyuki Gone Wrong… Fangirls are in charge.**

Disclaimer: We do not own Saiyuki. Or any of the characters. Okay… Maybe the ones we create, yeah, we own them. But everything else probably ISN'T ours, so suing us will get you nothing because our ramen just poofed away.TT ((And that only leaves us with paper and some funny exploding pens.)) Anyway Just enjoy the OOCness. Oh and enjoy the story!

Lost Cursed Angel: So... How scared do you think they'll end up?

Random friend who is reading over my shoulder: Most likely a lot.

LCA: Goodie...

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**Chapter one: And so it begins…. We're all doomed.**

The story starts in a little town no one has heard of. In an inn no one would have guessed was there. This is where our four 'hero's' story begins. And it all starts with a blonde priest who finally says what he truly thinks of one of his friends.

Sanzo and Hakkai were left alone while the others went out to get Goku some food. So they were just standing there talking in the lobby when Sanzo just tells Hakkai, "Hakkai, you're high."

"I AM NOT!" Hakkai slightly yells at the priest.

Sanzo calmly replies to his traveling companion, "Yeah… Actually…. You are."

Hakkai becomes angered at this and tries, as best as he could, to calmly state, "I am not, so please, SHUT UP!" Sanzo is blown backwards from the yell.

"..." Oo;; from the floor all Sanzo can say is, "…Ouch, fucking OW!" ((A/N: May have broken a hip. o ))

"Are you all right Sanzo?" Asks Hakkai after his, little upset.

"…No, my hip broken dumbass." Was his irritable response to the question.

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LCA: Sorry... I have to cut this off now... I just got caught...

Random friend who is reading over my shoulder: Moron.


	2. Chapter 2: Now we’re getting somewhere

Disclaimer: I do not own. I wish I did… But… sadly we do not. This is just pointless fun crap. And yes, the rating will be met sooner or later. I have sap and angst and all the good stuff… along with a lot of humor. And OOC-ness…A LOT of OOC-ness! And I mean a LOT…So…Enjoy!

LCA: Here we go again…. grins Isn't it wonderful! -running around like a moron-

Random Friend reading this: Not again. Didn't the people tell you to stop! What is wrong! Didn't you understand no comments meant it sucked!

LCA: -pout- That is not very nice. If they want to read it so be it! I will provide the stupid bouts of random if I want!

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**Chapter Two: Now we're getting somewhere.**

Goku and Goyjo return after feeding the monkey king. Both of them just stare at Sanzo lying on the floor of the lobby.

"…" Goku walks up to Sanzo and pokes him. "Does that hurt Sanzo?" Goku pokes him again. "How about now, Sanzo?" Hakkai sweat drops at the younger boy's energy. "Are you alright Sanzo?" From the floor Sanzo glares up at them.

"OW GODDAMMIT!" The blonde priest yells. "Stupid monkey going to make it worse…." Mumbled Sanzo. From the floor the high ranking priest didn't look too dangerous or intimidating. He twitches slightly as Goku continues to poke him.

Gojyo who had just been standing there dumbfounded finally started to take in his surroundings. He did not like what he saw. On the floor he sees a prick of a monk twitching and Goku poking him. He looked up to see his best friend very ruffled, and decided to ask his friend the way only he could. "What the fuck happened here?"

Hakkai snapped back to reality and looked to Gojyo. "Well… You see, Sanzo was, err…" For lack of better words he tried to think it over so that it sounded the way he wanted it to, when Goku suddenly spoke up.

"Sanzo got yelled at and broke his hip and then I started poking him and then you came here and then I started to explain it and then and then and then…" He would have continued but he ran out of breath. ((A/N: How he knew that… I do not know….)) Hakkai merely sweat dropped and said, "Yeah… sure, we can go with that."

Sanzo lay forgotten on the floor as he twitched in sheer pain. "Pain… all over… Like a thousand needles shot into my spine… Ungg…."

Gojyo absorbs what he was just told. He walks over the monk and pokes him. Sanzo responds the only way he can, he yells. "Ow! SHIT!" Gojyo just stares down at the monk. Hakkai decides to break the awkward silence.

"Sanzo? Are you alright?" Hakkai asks worried. "… Can I help you?" He asks again as Goku continues to poke Sanzo and asking if it hurts. Now that Goku is amused with poking Sanzo it dawns on him, he's hungry, and of course he has to tell EVERYONE. "Hey you guys… I'm Huuuunnnggrryyy…."

Sanzo in his attempt to stay calm decides to answer Hakkai. "No. I'm not alright. HELP would be appreciated!" Twitch. "AND WOULD YOU STOP POKING ME YOU BAKAZARU! IT'S GOING TO HURT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU POKE IT!" Sanzo states fuming and trying to look angry. This really is something, seeing as how he's lying flat on the ground. As the monkey king continues to poke him he lets out a very uncharacteristic whimper. And of course, Gojyo must point this out, in case anyone missed it.

So Gojyo blinks back to reality and states, "That whimper was highly uncharacteristic Sanzo. The whole concept of 'YOU' whimpering is odd on multiple levels and out-of-the-ordinary." Now it's Sanzo's turn to blink, and blink he does. "You're… SMART!" That little burst of energy brings pain through out Sanzo's body. "Ouchouchouchouch…" he winces at the pain. While all this is going on Goku just snickers and pokes Sanzo one last time to make sure. Hakkai kneels down next to Sanzo and focuses his ki. "I'll try to help you Sanzo." Unfortunately Hakkai's ki wasn't enough the first time because all Sanzo said was, "I don't think it worked, Hakkai, because I'm still in excruciating pain."

In the background it can be heard that Goku was hungry and Gojyo was simply telling him to shut up because none of them wanted to hear it. Hakkai ignored them and focused his ki once again. But now Goku thought that he was sick of being ignored and spoke up really loudly. "You GUUUUUYYYYSSS I'm HUNGRY!" And as if to emphasize this Goku's stomach growled, rather loudly. He decides to add, "An' BORED!" Sanzo stands shakily and glares at the monkey. He starts to limp away. "I'm still sore." Hakkai laughs lightly and replies, "I'm sorry Sanzo but I can't make all the pains go away. Gojyo finally ticked off slams his hand into the side of Goku's head. "How do I make you UNBORED!" Gojyo yells at Goku.

"Hey that hurt ya dumbass!" Goku retaliates. And just to piss off the kappa more he adds, "I'm bored! Bored! Bored bored bored! SOOO bored!" He continues to whine. "An' hungry! Really really hungry!" Gojyo hits Goku on the top of his head with his fist. "BE UNBORED DAMMIT!"

"Ow! Stop it ya dumb kappa!" Goku wailed. He would have fought back more but he was afraid he might hurt the older man and then he wouldn't get any food for being bad. But the fight continued anyway. "Ya pervy water sprite!"

"What was that ya dumb ape!"

"You heard me ya pink haired water sprite!"

"At least I don't have a black hole for a stomach!"

Gojyo then proceeded to beat Goku to a pulp. Goku decided what the Hell and started to fight back. Soon enough punches, kicks, and insults were flying.

Sanzo chooses to ignore his charge and return his attention to Hakkai. "Oh no. I'm just _fine_." He states sarcastically rolling his eyes as he did. Hakkai said nothing. "You're all morons." Stated Sanzo quite coldly. Hakkai sighed as it seemed this was going no where fast and headed back to his room.

Sanzo was the first one to notice Hakkai leaving and he cries out, "Wait! Don't leave me with these morons!" He then limps after Hakkai. But, he trips and lands face down in the hallway. Hakkai simply ignores Sanzo and goes into his room. As he shuts the door behind him very carefully, so not to disturb the others. Gojyo hears Sanzo's remark and yells at the fallen monk, "I'm not an idiot, ya damn corrupt monk!" When the sight of Sanzo being sprawled out on the ground finally sinks in he starts to laugh uncontrollably at the monks discomfort.

He would have continued to laugh if it hadn't been for Goku kicking him right in the shin. "Ow! Ya dumb chibi chimp! That hurt!" But to Gojyo's dismay Goku simply went to check on his caretaker's health. "Are you alright Sanzo?" Goku asks with concern. And Gojyo hating to be ignored tackled the monkey king and started to give him the ultra noogie. "Hey ya damn water sprite! What's the big idea!" Yells Goku at Gojyo.

Sanzo after the brief moment to collect his thoughts thought it would be better not to shoot the idiots that he had to travel with. He rolls onto his back to try to calm down as he moans to himself. "This isn't fair…" He whines. "Damn Hakkai… Getting all the peace and quiet." He lets out a small sigh as he turns to look at the door Hakkai had vanished behind. "He left me with there idiots."

On the other side of said door stood Hakkai. He was starting to get a feeling of great guilt. He had left Sanzo out there, alone. And wounded to top it off. He sighed. He unlocked the door to see Sanzo right there. "… Sanzo?" He quietly says. "Are you alright?" His gaze doesn't once leave Sanzo's face. Sanzo doesn't look at Hakkai right away, he instead continues to mope about how life sucks and that he has to travel with morons. He starts to spout useless babble about how, if he had the strength, he would beat the arguing morons with his paper-fan-of-doom. That was when Hakkai clears his throat drawing Sanzo's attention. "Sanzo?" He ventures again. "Are you alright?"

Sanzo merely looks up at Hakkai with slightly puffy eyes and Hakkai takes that as a 'no, I'm not alright' and brings Sanzo into the room they had purchased. Hakkai carefully brings Sanzo to a bed and places him down gently upon it. Sanzo wipes his eyes and attempts to look upset when Hakkai asks if he had been crying. "Of course not." He says as he turns on his side. Hakkai simply lets it go and asks, "Can you move Sanzo?"

Sanzo hits the bed with a fist and grates out, "Only my upper body." Hakkai goes to where he had placed the bags and digs for one of his books before going to sit down in a chair. "You should get some rest Sanzo. After all, the door will hold the others off so long." He adds with a slight hint of laughter in his voice. Sanzo rolls his eyes at the comment. "Che. Like I care." Hakkai, who had opened his book and started to read, looks up at Sanzo and asks the most obvious question. "What's wrong Sanzo?"

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LCA: I'll end here… Although I do have to say… I kinda think that it's starting to end up a little angsty… What do you all think? -sweat drop-

Random Friend reading this: Ya think! -anger radiating-

LCA: Hey! You helped make it this way! -whine-

Random Friend reading this: Shut up! -whacks Lost Cursed Angel with a giant mallet-

LCA: Owwies! T-T Waaaaahhh! You big meanie! -sobbing to herself-

Random Friend reading this: … . Great. Anyway... To shut her up please comment. I doubt that people read this anyway though.

LCA: Please comment I want to know if I should continue. Oh.. And if you were wondering. It took me a while 'cause I had projects and school.

Random Friend reading this: Tell them the other reason.

LCA: Oh yeah… I got grounded too. ToT -starts to cry again-

**COMMENTS PLEASE!**


	3. Chapter 3: Angsty aren't we?

LCA: Oh wow. It's been a while. I am writing this on the request I got to update.

Random Friend: You mean you didn't update because you're lazy and someone finally nagged you enough to update.

LCA: NO! … Well… Yeah… But that isn't the point! I think that updating would be good.

Random Friend: And so long as you don't get in trouble… or bored… this will be fine.

LCA: What are you talking about? I never get in any trouble. Heh..heh…

Random Friend: Uh-huh. Anyway, as always LCA does not own any of the Saiyuki boys or the series or anything like that.

LCA: I do own all the stuff I bought though! And… I'm sorry if form or anything else is different from the last time I posted… Like a year ago. Or more… -sweatdrop- Enjoy!

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"Blah"

_Thinking_

**Chapter Three: Angsty aren't we?**

**Sanzo and Hakkai:**

Sanzo lay on the bed sulking. "Are you going to answer Sanzo?" questioned Hakkai. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. It's nothing," Sanzo replies and rolls over onto his side, his back to Hakkai. Hakkai stares at his friend's back.

"Oh come now Sanzo. I know you better than that. What's wrong "

"…My life sucks is all…" ((A/N: Emotional breakdown?))

Completely at a lack of words there is silence between the two for a moment. "Why would you say that Sanzo?" _I'm not sure my powers can fix that…_

"Do I even have to answer that?" he can't help but let a whimper escape as he tries to curl up. "Everything sucks…"

"Don't say things like that Sanzo. This isn't like you. If Goku or Gojyo heard you, you'd never hear the end of it." Hakkai sets down his book and looks intently at his friend's back.

"I know. I know those two would never shut up." He closes his eyes to keep the tears from falling down. "I can't believe this shit."

Once again there was silence. Hakkai shifted in the chair where he sat before he felt like he was going to drown in the awkwardness. "Do you feel better Sanzo?" he timidly asks.

"Not particularly… But I won't cry anymore." His breathing calmed and his voice sounded a little less desperate.

A small smile appeared on Hakkai's face as he rested easy again in his chair. "That's more the Sanzo I know."

Letting out a sigh he relaxes on the bed. "Well, I'm going to sleep now. Wake me up and die."

Not really wanting to bring the wrath of Sanzo upon him, he did feel he should tell Sanzo how those plans might not work so Hakkai couldn't help but speak up. "Uhm… Actually Sanzo… I took your gun and sutra… and fan. I didn't think it was wise to let you have them in the mood you were in… Heh…" He brought his hand sheepishly up behind his head as he smiles at Sanzo.

Sanzo's eyes fly open at this comment. "I thought I told you not to wake me… And how did you get my things?" _Without me noticing…_ He turns so he's facing Hakkai again. Glaring straight at Hakkai he states his demands. "GIVE THEM BACK RIGHT NOW!!!!!"

Hakkai just sat there smiling at Sanzo. "Maa maa… I'm quite afraid of what might happen if I did give them back to you Sanzo… I really don't think I should."

"Hakkai, I will NOT hesitate to kick your ass if you don't give those back to me." He starts to push himself out of bed. "It would be wise-" the thought cut off as he falls off the bed. The priest can't help but curse under his breath. "Damn it."

Staring at his friend he can't help but give a sheepish smile. "I really don't think that you should be moving right now Sanzo… After all, that fall did…" his voice trails off as he sees Sanzo trying to pick himself up. He stands from his chair and walks over to Sanzo. "Let me help you." He bends down so he can help Sanzo back onto the bed. "Now please behave Sanzo."

Once the priest was returned to the bed all he has to say is, "I hate you Hakkai." He turns his head away from the green eyed demon to sulk.

"I doubt that." There came a noise outside the door. "Oh. It sounds like they're trying to get in now… Sanzo?"

**Goku and Gojyo**

Now where were Gojyo and Goku during all of this? Well we last left the two in the lobby/hall area… Fighting…

While the two of them fought it dawned on Goku that both Sanzo and Hakkai were missing. He thought it would be best to say something. As he dodged the Kappa's punches he asked, "Hey, where's Sanzo and 'Kai?"

This being brought up Gojyo stopped attacking the monkey to look around. "Hey… Yeah! Where DID they go?"

"You don't think they left us do ya?"

"They wouldn't leave us ya dumb ass. They probably just went to the room is all. C'mon let's go." Picking himself up off the floor he stretched.

"Are you sure?" He too stood up. He just stood there for a moment until his stomach growled. "…Could we go to the kitchen first? Please? I'm STARVING."

The red head just stood there staring at the chimp before answering. "Sure. Whatever, I'm hungry anyway." He starts to walk toward the kitchen. _Maybe there will be some hot chicks too…_ He smirks like the devil at this thought.

"Yay!" Runs ahead like a kid. "Food! Food!"

_Girlsgirlsgirlshot sexy girls…_Brought back to reality as Goku cheers and races down the hall ahead of him. "…Wha? Right… To the kitchen!" He walks casually after Goku.

Goku couldn't contain his joy as he cheered all the way. "Yeah! Food food!"

Gojyo also did some cheering… though, mostly in his head. But he did accidentally slip up. "Yeah! GIRLS! Yeah!"

This of course caught the attention of Goku. "Huh? But Gojyo the foods the best part!"

The Kappa didn't falter one step. "Nah. Girls are better."

"No way! Food's the best!" The argument lasted until they reached the eating area. It even carried on into the meal. But once the food was brought out Goku was as silent as one can be while eating the place out of house and home. Gojyo too became quiet when the booze was brought to him. He of course flirted with the young waitress that brought it to him but aside that was content.

At the end of the meal Goku let out a loud "BURP." This cause Gojyo to stop chasing skirts to look at him. "… Man… I'm stuffed… That was good."

"Yeah. I'm stuffed. I'm surprised you're full ya bottomless pit. Let's head back to the room. I wanna play some Mahjong." I have the strong urge to kick Sanzo's sorry ass. The Kappa stands up from the table. "And of course, I'll win."

Goku too stood and headed toward the room. "No way ya pervy water sprite. I'LL win."

"Che. As if. I'm pretty sure I'M the one whose gonna be winning tonight."

The two walk back to the room squabbling the entire way. When they did make it to the room Gojyo reached for the doorknob. "What the fuck?" The kappa mutters as he fails to be able to open the door. "It won't open…"

"Huh? What do ya mean? Just open the door already!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do ya stupid monkey! That damn priest probably locked the door… AGAIN. God damn hormonal priest." The kappa tries again to open the door but it still refused to give way.

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LCA: And… I'll leave ya at that. I know. Bad place to end but I'm tired.

Random Friend: No. You're lazy.

LCA: -sweatdrop- Nooooo… -shifty eyes- Never… I just get bored. And stuff… Okay yeah… I'm lazy. I've been working on my manga collection! I'm proud to say my manga numbers have reached over 170!

Random Friend: You sad, sad little girl.

LCA: HEY! I'm not THAT little. –pout- Yeah… Anyway sorry that I took so long to update. I honestly am! Unless I have vast amounts of time I'm probably not going to… But… LOOK! I DID update so that means something… Right?

Random Friend: I pity you all. If you would leave a comment… or a flame… or something. She might stop or continue… It's really up to the responses she gets… Dear God.

LCA: Yeah. I'm REALLY sorry it took so long. –bows- Gomen!


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